Friday, July 17, 2015

Struggling

I've been struggling lately.  There.  I said it.  It's out there.  My heart has been pricked and I feel I'm supposed to DO something....but I don't know what that is.  Let me start at the beginning....

A friend of mine recently started being the pastor of a local church.  He's a part time pastor and the congregation is small.  But they are certainly mighty.  Their church is involved in a couple very successful local ministries - one being a meal program where they provide a free meal once a week to the poor, lonely, and/or homeless and the other is a clothing "closet" (that is so much more than just clothing - they can get clothes, household items, etc).  They also take those plastic grocery bags that we all just throw away or use as trash can liners and weave mats for the homeless.  And they give mattresses.  He shared with me about a couple who were at one of the meals - a young, unmarried couple.  She was obviously pregnant.  And they had no vehicle.  They walked to the church.  And when they walked back "home" then went behind a store to a dumpster....a dumpster they called home.

That has chilled me to the bone.  I sit here and look at what I have - the stuff - and yet within 3 miles of me is a couple living in a dumpster. 

I'm not wealthy by any means.  We don't own a home.  I drive a car that is rusting out from under me and will be 20 years old if it makes it to next year.  I don't wear designer clothes.  I don't carry a designer purse.  I have 3 pairs of shoes.  I don't own a smart phone or android but use a prepaid cell for emergencies only. We don't go on vacations because we just can't afford them.  But I do have a roof over my head.  And I do have food on the table.  Lord knows I get enough to eat - too much!  I sleep in a bed.  And 3 miles away from me is a couple living in a dumpster.

I have a craft room full of stamps and paper and markers and embellishments.  I have a couple drawers full of yarn.  I have a sewing machine.  And 3 miles away from me a couple is living in a dumpster.

How is it that we can overlook those who are in such need?  How is it that I can overlook those in such need?  How can I justify buying one more thing that I don't need when 3 miles away from me a couple is living in a dumpster.

I know I keep saying that....but it has touched a part of my soul that is aching.  It has made me realize not only how blessed I am, but how because of that blessing I should be doing something to help those around me.  But what can I do?  This is my struggle.  I don't know what to do.  I don't know where to start.  What can one person do?  But I know that God is calling me to something.  I can feel it in my soul. 

It's even got me to thinking about this blog.  What is it supposed to be?  I started off thinking it was a creative outlet for cards.  But can it be more?  And if so - what is that?  I'm not sure where this is going.  I guess I just wanted to share my heart and let you know why I have been MIA lately.  I'm praying about where to go from here.  I'm asking God to show me what He wants me to do.  I'm asking Him about this blog too.  I'm praying for an answer.  Stay tuned.

12 comments:

Mehrll said...

Your post touched my heart. Even when we think we have so little, we have so much. I would love to share your post on my blog with your permission.

MiamiKel said...

Zella, such beautiful and poignant words -- since our COF days, I have often wondered if I am missing the mark, too. Like I have "this to say" in here, but it doesn't reach it to the right place 'out there' - so I hear you. You do so much, and I am sure your friendship to others and worship at church touches lives. I pray you get your answer you are seeking :)

Lynn McAuley said...

You speak a truth that we all struggle with, Zella. You are in my thoughts and prayers along with this sweet couple.

Shelly Schmidt said...

We are in the same boat! Do what you can and let God lead your heart! I signed up with a tutoring agency for helping people learn English, and it did not work out too well. Through Church, I have been able to do just that and every little bit of yourself that you give away puts more good into the world. It is a hard struggle to determine if it is in God's plan for these young people to experiences this to make them humble in some way, or if he does it to make us humble! God Bless you and I will pray for you for discernment in your walk!!!

Ginny Maxam said...

I have an answer for what we can do, but answers come to each of us in a language the Lord makes us to understand. The doing comes from that hearing. I work with the homeless and have seen situation after situation just like this and it is very sad about that couple and especially about the child on the way. Zella God gave you a heart and you chose to serve Him, he gave you gifts and finances, you choose to honor him with them. He will show you what to do and your blog can be a beacon, just like your life is. If that Couple turns to God, he can turn their lives around. God will lead what your community church can do. Only God knows the reason they ended up where they did and he can fix it! I'll keep you in my prayers - Be glad for what God has given you, he wants you to be happy and use it to give him glory.! Hugs,
Ginny

Shaz in Oz.CalligraphyCards said...

Hullo Zella,
Just saw this on Mehrll's blog so have come over to say am praying for you in it Zella, the LORD will guide you.. praise Him, for His faithfulness... and every blessing on that couple too, we put them int he LORD's safe loving hands.
Shaz in Oz.x
ps I have put you blog on my sidebar in favourite blog as feedburner has stopped sending me emails and cant seem to get it fixed so use my sidebar now... or dashboard if have followed them but you don't have that option.

Nancy said...

Wow...what a great post, Zella!
I came over to take a peek at who you are, and I love what I have learned of your heart.
I'm joining your blog because I'm excited to see where the Lord leads you in this!
Thank you for your sharing! :o)

chingaling ling said...

Zella, I'm humbled by the beautiful compassionate person you are. We do indeed need to take care of each other since we live in a community. By writing this post and expressing your compassion, get the word out and bringing awareness, you are doing lots already for this couple and others in need. Helping others doesn't always need to be measured in material items.

Kim P said...

You clearly have a big and warm heart. Trust in God, and He will guide you to do what He believes you can do.

Kim P said...

You clearly have a big and warm heart. Trust in God, and He will guide you to do what He believes you can do.

Kim P said...

You clearly have a big and warm heart. Trust in God, and He will guide you to do what He believes you can do.

desertskyquilts said...

And now it's two years later, and I'm wondering what you did. I, too, have felt lately that there should be more that I'm doing than what I do already. I don't know that there's anyone living in a dumpster 3 miles from me, but I know someone who goes to the Goodwill dumpster and gets clothing they have thrown away as not being appropriate for the store. He's just dressed for winter that way. I'm sure there are others. We live in the greatest, wealthiest country on earth. How can people here be living like this? How can we not be doing more to get them to functioning beyond the survival level? I'm curious if you found an answer for what you could do.